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The spiral growth systems blog

5 Ways to Make this Personal Growth Stuff Way Easier than Most of Us Let It Be

Do you ever feel like personal growth is just exhausting?

Having to deal with your feelings, all of this introspection – do you ever just wish you could be DONE with it already?!

I know the feeling. Like each layer of the onion that we peel away requires so many growing pains and so much from us, that we’re wiped out by the time the actual shift has happened.

And once you’ve been at it for a while you can’t help but have the recognition that there are always more layers where that came from.

Sometimes you just want to give up. We’ve all been there. Or, I used to regularly go there. Until I discovered that I was making it WAY harder than it needed to be.

And I’m not talking about creating a false sense of ease by repeating “my life is so easy” affirmations. Those won’t get you very far if you don’t actually believe them yet.>There’s an ease available to us in the transformation process that most of us just don’t access.

I tell my clients this work is courageous. And it is. It requires a deep courage and commitment to the process. But that doesn’t have to mean what we think it does.

Top 5 reasons courageous transformation is easy when we let it be +  “how” to get you started on actually letting it be easy.


1) Use your courage to stand strong in the simplicity, while your psyche lets go of the need for it to be hard.


Half of what makes it hard is our perception that it’s supposed to be. Let go of that, and you’re much of the way there.

2) Maintain the commitment to return to the ease underneath the appearance of unease


Things will happen that Life will get in the way and you’ll fall back into “this sucks” mode again when it seems that so much is weighing on you. This is a process that takes adjustment and plenty of layers to release along the way – but if you’re willing to hold your commitment to coming back to the core of knowing that you’re always supported, you’ll find ease in the situations that previously would have appeared challenging

3) Let your mind chill + give up the need to talk about it.


So much of what makes transformation challenging is the desire to “understand” it all. When we stop needing to understand
why something is happening, or what we’re supposed to learn from it, the shifts can happen in the simplicity intended of them. You might not have as much to talk about while you’re shifting (also something you’ll need to let go of in this process) – but you will have much more instantaneous shift to show for it.

4) Reframe what “doing the work” means to you.


It’s your psyche that clings to the perception that suffering means transformation. Feeling your feelings, surrendering to the higher plan, returning to the stillness of your body, and all of the other things involved in a shift that could take “work” can quickly shift to a simple and organic process that you don’t have to focus on or put “effort” into, if you just let them happen. Sure, some of the initial shifts may need to be the layers you’ll peel away bit by bit that make the process easier. But when we say it’s “work” we’re corroborating with our minds to hang onto the belief that it’s hard — when really, it’s just the opposite if we let it be.

5) Ditch the “no pain no gain” philosophy.


Or, rather, reframe your perspective of pain. Some shifts may come with pain – as truly feeling things can deepen the shift and the cleaning out process that supports you in feeling lighter when you’re on the other side of it. However, pain does not have to equal suffering. Remember, feeling is one of the biggest gifts of the human experience, no matter what that feeling is. Embrace feeling as a gift, and you’ll be able to move through pain with the ease + simplicity of the feeling that it is. And before you know it, the shift will have taken hold.

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